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3 Pieces Of Advice I Would Give Myself About Singleness

Updated: Mar 22

My singleness has definitely been a journey. I can remember feeling disappointed and confused at the beginning. Anxiety and worries filled my heart as being single became my reality. I felt so alone, left out, and forgotten. It seemed like my current circumstance was the fate of my future. As if God had made His decision regardless of my desires and dreams, and I had to live with it.

It took time and effort to see past my disappointment and fear to see who God is and His love for me. In this time, I have learned more about myself and who I want to be. In this post, I want to share some things that I learned during this time. These are some things I’ve learned, but not all. I’m happy to share more in upcoming articles. (Read More: 3 Truths I Had to Learn Being Single in My Late Twenties)

(32) But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. (33) But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. (34) There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 (NKJV)

This is a time filled with opportunities. I completely understand feeling lonely, left out, and hopeless during this time. These emotions are real and valid. But, for the sake of this post, take a moment and set those emotions to the side. I want you to ask yourself: if I had time to develop, grow, and better myself, what would I change? How would I change? What do I want to learn or focus on? How can I serve the Lord better than I currently am? Who do I want to be? How can I improve my relationship with God? How can I show the love of Christ to my family and friends in my singleness? What career do I want? How can I serve and be in ministry while single? What kind of marriage do I want to have? What habits do I need to drop, and which ones do I need to put into practice? What are my standards and boundaries regarding dating and marriage?

Friend, there are so many more questions you could ask. The point is God has put you in this season, at this time, to figure all that out and more. He has given you this time to learn and partner with Him for an amazing present and future. As I said before, I know the feelings of loneliness and hopelessness can seem very strong, and feel like that’s all there is. But, as you choose to trust God and take advantage of this time, I believe His peace will calm your heart and bring you joy.

Comparison will steal your joy and give you depression. I think this is something everyone struggles with in one way or another. I compared my path to my married friends, my sister when people told me they thought I would get married first, and all the relationship posts I saw on social media. It made me feel left out and isolated all the time. It fueled my disappointment and hopelessness. I felt so awful and didn’t want to leave my bed most of the time.

I realized this is no way to live. I got to the point where I had to change something. So, I told God I was willing to go through my singleness but, I couldn’t go through it like this. He would have to show me a better way. And He did. Of course, I have moments where I feel lonely and wonder if marriage is in His plan for me, but I learned to bring my concerns to Him and trust the path He created for me. I challenge you to seek God and His path more than comparing yourself to others. I can testify that comparison will destroy the person God created you to be.

Grapes must be crushed to make wine. Diamonds form under pressure. Olives are pressed to release oil. Seeds grow in darkness. Whenever you feel crushed, under pressure, pressed, or in darkness, you’re in a powerful place of transformation. Trust the process! -Unknown

In the midst of the difficulty, trust God’s process. Saying this season is difficult, is an understatement. It is like a battle between your insecurities, trauma, and the character of God. I want to encourage you to trust God. He is the One who created you and your path before you were even born, according to Psalm 139: 15-16. He knows your past, is with you in your present, and has seen your future. You can trust Him in the midst of your struggle. I promise you He is not trying to hurt or punish you. As a loving Father, He is developing and preparing you.

I hope this was a blessing. During this journey, I have learned that I need God more than anything else, and He has always shown up for me. I challenge you to step out in faith and see what He does. Please remember, you are safe with God! If this was a help, please leave a comment and sign up for our email newsletter.

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