My plan and vision were to get married and live my life. Let’s be honest I really didn’t think too heavily about my life after marriage. The goal was to make it to marriage, and then I would figure the rest out after. Well, I was the one the plan didn’t work for. I honestly struggled really hard with that. I was being put in the very place I feared the most, which was being alone. I’m not just talking about being alone regarding singleness but being alone in the sense of being left. This fear is something God has consistently challenged me on.
In 2022, I also moved into my house by myself. On top of feeling alone or left behind socially, I now start living alone. See, I can handle pressure without falling apart, but when God is the One applying the pressure, it is hard not to crack. I was going through it mentally and spiritually at this point while still trying to show up like things were okay. That year, God proved to me I needed Him. The beginning of 2023 came, and I thought it could not be as bad as 2022. I’m accepting my singleness and learning to thrive in it. I’m enjoying living by myself and having peace. I’m good, right?!
In the middle of 2023, I started to feel unsatisfied with where I was in some areas of my life where I felt comfortable and not alone. Out of fear of feeling alone again, I began to try to fix what I was dissatisfied with. Let me tell you that doesn’t work. God had to humble me again. As 2024 begins, God has challenged me to make more decisions that will force me out of my comfort zone and do things by myself. I share all this with you to say that following and obeying God is not always easy. It is not always sunshine and rainbows. God will push you, and you won’t like it. I have learned that there is a difference between saying you trust God and experiencing moments when you have to trust God. It is not fun.
So, how do we stay encouraged during these times?
Understand God is not challenging us to destroy or harm us. What if God saw something in us or our lives that could hinder us in our future, so He is revealing it now? To make us more like Jesus, what if we have to deal with some uncomfortable things? In Jeremiah 29, God says His thoughts towards us are of peace, not evil. God’s motives have always been and will always be for our good.
Believe God is always with us and will strengthen us. No matter how alone we feel, God is always with us. There may be some roads where we physically have to walk alone, but God is the One who is always with us. In Isaiah 41:10, God is not only with us, but He will strengthen us. Lend on Him.
Trust that there is a blessing on the other side. Psalm 128:1-2 reminds us that whoever fears the Lord and obeys Him is blessed. They will eat the fruit of their labor and be happy. We have to allow the blessing that is coming to give us hope amid our struggles.
I have no idea what is going to happen or how it is going to come about. I am scared, but I am choosing to trust and obey God, who is good and faithful. I want to look back and see that it was worth it. So, stay strong and don’t give up. God will see us through.
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