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The Reality of My FOMO in Singleness

Being single is hard enough — but the fear of missing out (FOMO) can make it extremely difficult. Being surrounded by the gift we are hoping to have one day can cause us to overthink and obsess over when and if it will ever happen. From the social media post of friends in relationships, friends getting engaged, and the ‘I just want to brag on my husband…’ to the feelings of not fitting in, FOMO can become overwhelming and cause us to enter a state of depression.

Oh, how I know this feeling all too well. I can honestly say this has been one of the biggest struggles in my singleness I had to deal with. I became obsessed with doing everything I could to make sure I was in the right place, knew the right people, and looked the right way in hopes of finding my husband. I took control of the situation because I could not let my fears of being single for the rest of my life and not having a family of my own come true. And it seemed like God was not doing anything. After I exhausted myself and allowed my fears to completely consume me, I realized the trust I had in God to order my steps was gone. I was completely trusting in myself and my own abilities to fulfill my desires. During my devotion time, God challenged me to reevaluate whether I trusted in my fears or Him. Here are some thoughts He brought to my attention. Also, check out the resources that encouraged me at the end of this post.

Disclaimer: Even though this post is focused on singleness, I feel that FOMO can show up in any and all areas of our lives. I pray this helps you no matter where your fears lie.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; And lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, And he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

We have to address our lack of trust in God’s goodness and faithfulness.

My fears clouded and distorted my view of God’s character and nature. I viewed God as the One who picked me to go through singleness because someone has to do it. I was given the short end of the stick. He made His decision now I have to live with it. I will become the bitter and lonely old woman in the neighborhood with nine cats and yells at people to stop walking on my grass. This is what I have to look forward to, not my dreams of having a family and building a legacy for them as my mom did for me. How could God rip that away from me?

Let us look at what God says in Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. And Ephesians 2:10, For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. God did not add singleness to my life just because. He planned it to be a part of my beautiful story. Let me be completely honest… I do not like singleness. I would prefer not to go through it. But, knowing that God chose to add singleness to my story with good intentions and purpose softens the stink and relieves some of my FOMO. We have to trust that God sees us and knows what He is doing. I know… easier said than done. But, we have to find a way to believe His Word instead of dwelling on our FOMOs.

We have to think about what God can do instead of what He has not done.

It is so easy for my thoughts to spiral out of control, especially when they involve my fears. I can think about how nice it would be to have my husband worry about changing the lightbulbs instead of me struggling to reach them. Then two minutes later, I’m stressed and depressed that I have to find a way to fix my roof by myself 10 years from now. There is no evidence that this will happen, but I worked myself into a depressed state. Thinking this way takes the joy out of God’s blessing of homeownership and adds doubt to my future.

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; We have to take control of our thoughts. In the book, Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen, she talks about interrupting the spiral of our negative thoughts with the truth. So, how can this help? Philippians 4:8 says, Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. We have to interrupt our FOMO-filled doubt of God’s goodness and faithfulness with thoughts that are true, honest, just, pure, lonely, of good report, and that have virtue and praise. If we think about the true character and nature of God instead of our FOMOs, I believe we will be able to see the purpose God has for us in our singleness.

Are you struggling with FOMO in your singleness? Are you able to find peace in where God has you right now? What are your thoughts? Let us talk about it! Leave a comment and let me know what is on your mind. If you have any suggestions for topics you want me to cover, let me know. I want to hear from y’all!

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God always has you and will never leave you!


Photo by: Liza Summer on Pexels

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