I have been feeling anxious and impatient lately about my future, desires, and the process of following the Lord’s lead through my current season. I have been in prayer about it, but it seems that those feelings will not leave. So, I started to reflect on what triggered these feelings and what God is asking me to do that I do not want to do.
My Trigger
Last night, I watched a show where two high school seniors were professing their love for each other as they are getting ready to graduate. They had been friends for some years. You know, that high school love. So, when I was about to fall asleep, I kind of imagining and fantasizing about that type of intimacy with someone. It was nothing sexual, just having a man look into my eyes and tell me that not only that he loved me but that he was in love with me. I thought it would not hurt anything.
This morning, I woke up to feelings of anxiousness and impatience. I longed for the feelings I saw and fantasized about. I allowed myself to indulge in my mind and produced feelings that I could not act on which, added to my anxiety and impatience. So, now I know what triggered these feelings.
Now, it is time to figure out what God is asking me to do.
What is the Lord asking of me?
While I was listening to some YouTube videos, they brought up this passage of Scripture. As I was listening, God spoke to me and told me what He was asking from me.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; And lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, And he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust Him with every desire, dream, and area of my life. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart…”
I know when I am feeling anxious, worried, and impatient about a desire or dream, it is because I took my trust from God in that area. Maybe I am thinking He is moving too slow, I feel He does not quite understand, or it seem to me like He will not come through. Whatever I may think or feel, I have to remind myself He is asking me to trust Him with every desire, dream, and area of my life because He does care. He has our best interest in mind. He wants us to trust in Him with everything we have; every desire, dream, struggle, worry, and every area of our lives.
How my current circumstances look right now does not determine my future. “…And lean not unto thine own understanding.”
In the previous point, do you notice I said, “I think…, I feel…, and it seems to me like…?” I am taking the small view I have of my current circumstances in life and trying to predict my future. As I was reflected on what triggered these feelings, I remember having the thought, “I will always be alone and never be able to experience that intimacy with anyone!” I can tell you that I was not trusting the Lord and tried to predict my future using my small view. God sees our view but also sees the bigger picture. He sees where we are and where we will be.
Make Him a part of every thought, decision, plan, and action. “In all thy ways acknowledge him…”
I had to ask myself, “How would I feel if I had a conversation with God about how I was feeling instead of trying to fill that void myself?” He knows everything so, why not ask for His advice. When we involve God into lives, it allows us to see through His eyes and not our own. He will be able to direct us to where He planned for us to be.
He will show me the next step to His plan for my life. “… And he shall direct thy paths.”
As I quickly mentioned in the last point, He will direct us to the life He has planned for us. Because we involved Him in our lives, He can mold and shape us to walk in the life He has for us. A life that is beyond what we could ever imagine. A great life where He fulfills the desires of our hearts. The desires He created and planned for us to have.
My Commitment
After I understood what triggered me and how God was asking me to handle it, I recommitted my trust and faith to the Lord. I understood I needed to trust Him with the longing and void I felt because He has a purpose for the season I am currently in. When I stop focusing on my small view and start focusing on involving God in that area of my life more to see through His eyes, He will guide me to the life He has planned for me which, is good and not evil. As I continue to remind myself through the day, my anxiety and impatience eased up. I felt peace in my mind and spirit.
I hope this was an encouragement to you. I wanted you to understand that we are all in this together. I struggle with loneliness just like you. But, I also want you to know God gave us control over my thoughts and emotions. We have to allow the Truth to lead while our feelings follow. Yes, I know sis, easy said than done! God is with us and will help us. We can only make it in by His power.
Are you having a tough time trusting God during the process? Do you feel anxious and impatient? What are your thoughts? Let us talk about it! Leave a comment and let me know what is on your mind. If you have any suggestions for topics you want me to cover, let me know. I want to hear from y’all!
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God always has you and will never leave you!
Photo by: Luis Fernandes on Pexels
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